from victim to creator of our life

The biggest shift we can aim for is deeply understand that we are not passively witnessing our life, as powerless beings, but we can be the creator of our most authentic and aligned experience.
We tend to face events as they are happening to us and there is nothing we can do.

When my life fell apart and my heart cracked open in 2015 I put myself in the role of the victim. I had a pretty solid storytelling going on in my mind: I was the good one, the perfect girlfriend who trusted and loved him and he was the bad one, who lied repeatedly and cheated on me.
I was hiding behind the fact that something horrible happened to me and that gave me the right of being miserable, wounded and very very angry. It was bad but somehow also comfortable to hold to that narrative: every time I was talking to him I could slap in his face how much he hurted me and how horrible it was what he did, totally blaming him for the end of our relationship and for my incapacity of trust and love again.

It took years to finally manage to let go of that story in my mind and honestly take full responsibility of my life. Only then things started shifting, both inside and outside me.
Now I see that life changing event like something that happened for me and not to me, to rescue me from a reality didn’t belong to me anymore.
I know that deep inside myself I wasn’t happy anymore in that life. It was like I was shrinking myself to fit into something I believed it was the right thing for me. My mind simply couldn’t accept that everything I have built so far (my 7 years relationship, the city and the house I was living in, my job and the team I built, some of my friends) was meant to die forever with a big part of me.

I felt so lost and desperate, like everything was happening outside my will and against me and there was nothing I could do to take the lead of my life again.
Now I clearly see how my soul fought to make it happen, to make my life and all my securities fall apart, bringing me through a process of death and rebirth. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced but it was needed.
I feel that wound was already inside me and was just waiting to be touched and awakened to bring to the surface all the pain that was hiding in the depth of my soul. It was the only way to feel it, see it and heal it, the only way to finally remember who I am and return there.

Now I see everything that crosses my life, even things I don’t like, as an invitation to the next step of my evolution. An opportunity to go deeper in my journey, let go, create space and step into my power always a bit more.
It is scary to leave that shield we all built since we were children, to feel safe and protected. But only dancing with our fears, acknowledge, feel and accept them, we can meet a more authentic and liberated version of ourselves.

As soon as we let our fears move through our body, instead of fighting them, they start shifting and transforming into our power.
Life is happening for us and we all have the ability to shape our own reality, that is just a projection of our inner world. No one can save us, we are the only one who can decide to step out from the stories in our mind and I believe that we have the duty to do it. Because we deserve to be the best expression of ourselves, honor our essence and be happy and free. This world deserves to be a better place, driven by joy, pleasure and desire, union and communion, instead of fear and separation.

If you want to know more about my story you can read my about page.